My Bleeding Heart

yaah
still sore still a bit sluggish,

yesterday was reading news, and I came to see that California has legalised "homosexual civil unions" gay marriage ya3ni.. feeling a bit sick already from my tummy discomfort i almost threw up when i saw the pic of two old women french kissing each other.... weaa333

I remember ages ago when morality just seemed black and white, it was so comforting. its just wrong coz its wrong.. but then you grow up or perhaps get exposed to other "views" and everything seems so chaotic and discusting.. so I thought to myself and some how comfered myself that our FITRA is all the same...
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in a class on political islam, and i decided i will never take a class on political islam no more, coz simply i have stopped learning anything from such classes...no one knows rat poop. the level of discusstion is so simplistic and low i dont feel like im in a graduate class..
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I was thinking how the Ummah has never suffered like this before, and many of our brothers and sisters including myself feel like its almost the end of the world and the great battles before the day of judgment are about to take place.... well the thing is we arent the first people to think this or feel that way and many hunreds of years ago Muslimeen also felt like this... this sort of apocalyptic tendancy is self distructive and prone to failure as we build for a short period of time and expect something to happen to end all our suffering,,

perhaps we need to learn more about the signs of time ending, and even then we should not allow it to conflict with our judgment of dunya affairs... I feel much more could be done if a lot of the sincere bros and sisters get out of this mentaility of being a victim persecuted by the evil powerful forces of kuffr.

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of the pains I endure, the state of our Ummah just stabs me in the heart several times a day.. and before I sleep i somehow feel optimistic... and I just pray that I do something significat for this ummah and that I see a major positive change before I die.